Friday, June 30, 2006

Hire a new Ad Agency

I saw this billboard on the back of a bus today at work. I actually find it really amusing.

Now most of the ad does make good sense. The Connecticut DOT wants you being safe, and wants you to pay attention in work zones. Personally, I think the "Let them work, let them live" campaign was much better, but thats me.

The thing that irks me about this particular advert is the secondary phrase--the one that reads "It could be your rear end". This makes absolutely no sense. If you and aren't looking where you're going , and the car behind you is going real slow, wouldn't it be the front car's rear end?

The only possible way it could be your rear end if you 'zone out' while driving is if you stop short, and the person behind you doesnt notice and they plow in to you. Perhaps the billboard should read: "Make sure the person behind you is awake and alert, or it could be your rear end". That much more catchy than the original.

I'm ready for this week to be over.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Social Climbers

Have you noticed how a lot of people will put a European style licence plate on the front of their car because they think it makes them look cooler--better than you perhaps. Why is it a European plate, not an European plate, but alas, I digress.

I have found that the type that does this generally will never go to Europe, and that they're social climbers, because Europe is supposed to be higher class than us. Which is understandable because when one thinks of Europe, one conjures images of tea parties and other extravagent affairs. America...pick-up trucks and fried chicken. I was driving to work today and I saw a yellow Hummer H2 with a European style plate in front.

Oh the ironies of this, I thought to myself. If someone on that side of the pond could afford the gas for that thing--when I was in England it was about 90p per liter or $9 a gallon. So I'm a rich bloke living in jolly old England, and the way I choose to show off my money is to drive a big graceless H2. I think I'll just stick with a nice Astin Martin or something. And the middle class can't afford it because they don't have the cash to pay $9 for every 11 miles they drive. No, you will find no Hummers in Europe.

This car in the garage where I park at work has one of those fake European plates on the front. Its a new Audi A6. And you know what, thats ok. Because they drive Audis over there. And those Audis dont have American plates. So I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

So the point of this post is: hey retarded H2 driver, take that fake foreign plate off your car. Actually keep the plate and get a new car. The H2 is a complete disaster, and for all its huge giganticness, it can still only hold 5 people.

Great, I just wrote this entire thing about something completely irrelevant. Stay tuned next week for why I get such a kick out of MTV's My Super Sweet 16.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Dennis Leary has a gigantic nose.

I'm watching Rescue Me, and it just happened to be something i noticed.

My mom is a huge gossip. Its not entirely like we didn't see this coming. Long Island Jew, im pretty sure she was a big deal growing up. She was bantering with her friends about this minor thing that anybody who was a guy would have dismissed just like that, and it blew up into a gigantic deal. I got a really big kick out of it, being the jerk I am.

People are always talking about the spice of life. Whatever it is, I don't have it right now. Continuing on with this food analogy, my life is about on par with Boston Chicken chicken. Delish. I go to work, where I do extremely challenging (sarcasm) bullshit work--I guess being the intern, thats my role. I go home, so exhausted from doing this menial shit work that I don't even go out and see my friends. I know I have them, friends that is, I just havent seen them in a while.

I'm really impressed with the new Volkswagen commercial for the Rabbit. Well executed.

On a similar thought line to Dennis Leary, I just watched a new Vin Diesel commercial. He has hair in it, and on a scale of one to looking like a goofy motherfucker, he completely looks like a goofy motherfucker.

All for now.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Signs I need to get more sleep #271

Last night, I fell asleep on the couch at around 8:00. I figured that this would only be a short nap, but it turns out that I was asleep until 3:50 this morning, when I got up, did about 5 minutes of work then put on The Bourne Supremacy on Cinemax onDemand. I watched it for a soild hour (and then some), before falling back asleep, and not easily getting up this morning for work at 8:10. 3 cups of coffee later, and I'm ready to tackle the day.

I drove to work today competely on auto-pilot. I realized this about 10 minutes in, when I noticed that instead of going to work (in Stamford), my car was about to get on 116 (to the high school). Oops. I guess that's sign #272.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

What a disaster

I was driving to Long Island yesterday, to go visit some friends from school. Yes, I tend to drive slightly above the speed limit sometimes, and yes, this may have been one of those chance. So I get pulled over by a Westchester County cop right where 684 turns into the Hutch, and he pulls me over. Civil enough guy, he discovers soon enough that my registration has expired in October and my car will presently be impounded until i re-register my car. Shit. And on top of that, he still gave me the speeding ticket. So my day on tuesday (The DMV is closed mondays) is as follows: Go to the CT DMV to get my car registered. $115. Go to the Westchester County Police Headquarters to get a slip to release my car. Free. Go to the yard and pick up my car, paying for 3 days of overnight storage and the towing fee. About $150. Getting a ticket for expired registration and 75 in a 55 on the same day. Priceless.

Last night, I went to a gentleman's club theme party. The guys wear oxford shirt, tie, jacket, etc. to look like they just got off from their white collar job (perhaps a bit descheveled), and the girls dress like sluts. It was a lot of fun.

I'm watching the History Channel right now, and the show just changed from something about mega disasters to something else about hell and satan. I didn't even know that the show changed for a second because it had the same announcer with the exact same inflections and tone of voice. I wonder if this guy does all the shows on the History Channel. This hell show is pretty fucked up. Especially because the narrator just said "Death...the great equalizer." Yay Jews for not having hell.

So, I have to take the train to work tomorrow, not entirely pleased about that. Well, I guess I had it coming.

More later...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Things I find Humorous

So I work for a marketing firm, and one of the things they were having me do is collate names from local affiliates of several networks in key markets. Anyways, I'm doing Chicago, and low and behold, Mike Ditka is on staff for ABC Chicago. He's their 'American Football Commentator'. I find that humorous.

I was also trying to find magazines for a distribution media list, and I came across these two publications. This is the actual description that is given for each magazine:

“The Nye Lubeletter" (monthly newsletter)
Launched in 1972. Private newsletter published by Nye Lubricants and dedicated exclusively to synthetic lubricants. Application focused, it contains articles that show how synthetic lubricants are being used in a broad range of industries, such as corporate, automotive, corrugator, and gear. Is perhaps the oldest, continuously published, private newsletter dedicated exclusively to synthetic lubricants. Nye gets involved by making lubrication news, writing technical articles for trade magazines, offering seminars and technical conferences, and attending trade shows and other events sponsored by those in the industry.

“Studio PMC" (precious Metal Clay guild) (quartly magazine)
A publication devoted entirely to silver clay. Includes a gallery of work, interesting stories, responses to issues in the field and answers to technical questions

“The Improper Bostonian” (monthly magazine)
Written for the active and affluent individuals who live and work in and around Boston. Offers information on the lifestyles, arts and entertainment news in the Boston area. Provides event, restaurant, nightlife, shopping and city activity information.

These are legitimate publications that thousands of people subscribe to. It warms my heart to think that people read such nonsensical drivel. Kinda makes you wonder what else they read...

Talking about work, I've been working with excel files a lot recently, so much so that I had a dream about them the other night. As a matter of fact I dreamed that I was trapped in one. Right afterwards, I had a dream that I was trying to take a picture of a butterfly that was flying in my house, and every Iime i tried to take a picture of it, the butterfly grew larger. Your move Freud.

It rained like a banshee tonight. That was rather unfun. More tomorrow, though no promises on how coherent it will be.

You stay classy, San Diego.

Sunday drivers.

Have you ever been driving, not really paying attention to what you're doing, and all of a sudden...You realize it. The perfect shift. Now, if you've never driven standard, or never driven it well, then you have no idea what I'm talking about. It's not often that it happens, and you can't force it consciously, but you know after you did it. Its just when you're almost part of the car, completely smooth shift, quick, effortless, if you're not driving, you don't even notice the shift. I had one of those today. It was downright amazing. I'm just driving, listening to music, then I shift and it just hits me. That was perfect. It was a really quality moment. So you know, I try and repeat it, and you can't. It's not something that can be forced.