Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Random Tidbit

You know it's time to take out the garbage when you're using the Trader Joe's bag as an auxiliary garbage can because the normal one's overflowing.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Funny Thing Happened to Me at the Bar

This actually happened to me last week, but I haven't had time to post it until today. Well, let's clarify real quick, the funny thing didn't happen to me, per se. I watched it happen. I was a witness, if you will. Well enough about me, and on to a funny story.

I'm going to begin with Exhibit A: 51st State's 10 cent wings:

OK, this is pretty self explanatory, and not particularly funny. It was Tuesday night, there were 10 cent wings. We got them. It is important to note that by the time our story picks up, they have been sitting on the table for about two hours.

Moving along, here we are, sitting at this long table, and we had kind of merged with the table sitting next to us, making a very large group of vague association. People kept coming over and chatting with us and what not, at least somebody knew everyone, it worked out well. So anyway, this very drunk girl comes over to our end, and sees the wings and lunges for them. No problem, we weren't eating them, feel free. The problem is, however that she dipped it in the blue cheese dip. Normally not a problem but tonight is no ordinary night. There was no ashtray on the table, so after we finished eating the wings, the smokers used the blue cheese dip as an ashtray.

Exhibit B: The blue cheese right after the girl dipped into it.
If you would notice, the top part of the container has no ash on top. That's what the girl ate. We all knew what was happening, and were all just kind of sitting there in awe as she wolfed the wing down. After she finished the wing, she put the bones back on the plate and walked away. We all cracked up, amazed that she ate this wing, covered in cigarette ash, and had no idea. I don' think she ever found out. I find that very funny.

Sorry for the quality of the pictures, they were taken on my cell phone in a dark bar, and I was pretty drunk.

I Hate this Class

So here we are, 11:30am on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and I'm sitting in my favorite class, Management Organization Systems. There are 15 people in this class of usually 50. 9 of us are here because we are presenting or are 'experts' today and required for class participation. Take a hint, professor. I want to get on the road, so I don't get stuck in traffic for two million hours. Literally, two million hours.

I actually talked with this particular Prof about just handing in my assignment early so I wouldn't have to be here today. That idea got shot down...rather quickly. She said I wouldn't be getting full credit. And when I said I had to drive home on 95 to Connecticut, she informed me that yeah, she also had to drive home to Michigan tonight. Thats wonderful. I have to take one of the most used swaths of land ever created home, while she gets to drive through Ohio and western Pennsylvania. Yeah, a very popular travel route, I might add.

This sucks. I want to go home.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Jack Bauer once did nothing noteworthy.

Here I am sitting in Management Organizational Systems, blithely paying attention to the worthless drivel that's coming out of the lecture. It seems that every week, one new person gives in and starts bringing a laptop to class. Well this week, my hat is off to the kid sitting one row up and 4 seats over. Wearing a hoodie, and very discreetly concealing the headphone wire, he is watching an episode of 24. And the professor is none the wiser. This, to me, takes a lot of balls.

A funny thing happened to me at the bar last night, but that'll come later.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Step Up Crayola

So, I'm sitting at work, at the amazing Kettler Capitals Iceplex, waiting for our Certificate of Occupancy and there's this box of crayons and some coloring books at the table next to me. Having nothing better to do, I do the obvious, start coloring in one of the coloring books. Something you have to understand is that i had about 2 1/2 hours to kill. Anyway, I'm coloring along on my merry way (and getting some pretty strange looks), when I come across this crayon:

(uploaded directly from my cell phone)

What do you mean name coming soon? Is there such a shortage of people that decide crayon colors at Crayola that they just can't keep up with the supply? I'm sure you can understand my predicament. Here I am in the midst of my Picasso quality renderings (staying within the lines and all), and I just want to know what color this crayon is going to be.

Needless to say I didn't use it and will probably be sending an angry letter to the Crayola Corporation. And if Crayola isn't its own corporation, then whoever makes Crayolas, you're going to hear about it from me.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Interesting Connecticut Law

So, after elections, I thought I'd throw in a fun tidbit I saw while trying to figure out the fine for my moving violation. It's interesting to note that there's no provision for cats.

Original image brought to you by the Great State of Connecticut
(then edited by me)

Sec. 14-226. Operator to report injury to dog.
Any person who has knowledge of causing, by the operation of a motor vehicle, injury or death to a dog shall at once stop and render such assistance as may be possible, shall immediately report such injury or death to such dog's owner or such owner's representative and shall give his name, address and operator's license and registration numbers to such owner or representative or any witness or peace officer. If unable to ascertain and locate such owner or representative, such operator shall, at once, report the injury or death to a police officer, constable, state police officer or inspector of motor vehicles, to whom he shall give the location of such accident and a description of the dog. Violation of any provision of this section shall be an infraction. No operator shall be convicted under the provisions of subsection (b) of section 14-224 when such operator has caused injury or death to a dog.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Abuse of A Facebook Message

(If you can't read the picture, click on it and it'll get really big)

I don't even know what to say to this. I mean don't you need a Facebook in order to post. And then lets be honest, do you really need to say "Beffy says WOOF WOOF (happy birthday in doggy language)". Where to begin.

First off, I just hope Beffy's a dog, cause if she isn't thats pretty awkward. Second, and this is kind of contingent on the first part, who names their dog Beffy. It's a stupid name, there I said it. If you're reading this, and your dog's name is Beffy, feel free to have it sue me for slander. Or better yet, defamation of character.

Why does Beffy actually need to say "WOOF WOOF" in the message. Why couldnt Mom & Dad simply have said, "It appears that our dog with the stupid name misses you." Because let's be honest mysterious Facebook ad girl, your dog doesn't know its your birthday.

So in conclusion, I came across this little tidbit while not finishing some presentation at 4:45am, and hopefully this is the only time it will be up for display.

Stay tuned next week for another edition of stupid people doing stupid things.