Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Dancing Queen

This is a great little tidbit about a woman who just didn't want to get up and dance, no matter how attractive the guy was that asked her.

Showing perseverance and a sheer will of character that probably spills into every aspect of life, this woman successfully fended off the advances of either 5 or 6 different men. Oh, it also has a funny ending. The clip is only 30 seconds long, but I think it definitely sends the point across--very clearly. Enjoy.

Stupid Around Town

Big changes here at the blog. Last month (or maybe it was this month), we introduced the awesome* tag. I think it went over pretty well. Today, we roll out our latest and greatest tag: Stupid Around Town. If you need more explaining than that, please don't continue reading. Anything.

You can redefine what it means to be a lawyer. This is an advertisement on the side of a phone booth very close to the fire station on G Street between 21st and 22nd.

You can redefine what it means to be a lawyer. (you just have to get into law school first)

It doesn't translate well into text, but I am really frustrated by this ad. Let's first discuss graphics. The woman is either sleep-walking or Ray Charles, standing in front of a building that is supposed to be a law office, but strikes me as just looking like Funger Hall. What are you telling me by this? That even people who cruise (or sleep) through life can be lawyers too? Or perhaps we're supposed to marvel at how all law books now have braille versions available? Point is, bad graphics, 1. it's not leading me anywhere and 2. it's not saying anything about being a lawyer.

More importantly, I think the advert is just a bold-faced lie. You can't redefine what it means to be a lawyer. Neither can I, nobody can. It's pretty established what a lawyer does. For instance, you can't wake up one day (after having gotten into law school, per the advertisement), and say, "Lawyers will now all manage hotels." Well, of course, you can say that, but that's not the point. The point is that lawyers won't manage hotels, they won't wash cars, they won't even trade stocks or be doctors. Lawyers will do law. You can't redefine that. Even if you're in law school.

So congratulations LSAT prep course, whose name I accidentally cropped out of the picture, for doing something dumb enough for me to devote an entire new section of my blog to stupid things.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Two Treats

I love when James Earl Jones says "Five".

So if I was you, which I'm not, I would be asking, "What the fuck are these?" Well that's a great question. The first one is James Earl Jones counting to ten, and the second one is, well, you're just going to have to see for yourself. Needless to say, both of these were on Sesame Street.

I do so enjoy these little throwbacks to my childhood (or slightly before). It was a time when they taught about important shit, like counting and the alphabet, how to ride the subway, and what Louis Gossett, Jr. is still doing on TV.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

GW Hatchet Breaking News

I know, I know, I'm normally not this prolific, but this is time sensitive, and I need to get this out before this goes stale.

I hope we all know about the tragic events that happened at Northern Illinois University this past Thursday. I think that's something people would consider "Breaking News". And furthermore, it happened at a college, so it's college breaking news. Before I continue, let's get this straight, I am not trying to make light of the situation at all.

What I am trying to do is understand why nine hours after this, the GW Hatchet, our bastion of editorial something or another, would send out a Breaking News alert informing us that the University received money for renovations. I'm not kidding. Here's the email I got: (as always, clicking on it makes it bigger)
You can clearly see that the email was sent out on February 15th at 12:49 am. This just happens to be the night after the shooting in Illinois.

I mean talk about a misinterpretation of breaking news. Even if they didn't have a story for the shootings (I don't believe Hatchet writers can come up with something that fast), but they could have canceled the email. Or perhaps renamed it to: "Not even close to Breaking News".

Everyone at GW keeps talking about sensitivity. Sensitivity to this, sensitivity to that. How about sensitivity to realize that this might not qualify as "breaking".

Anyway, that's my little thing. You stay trashy, GW Hatchet.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Tooth-to-Gum Ratio

Let me tell you about a little-known measure of attractiveness--one I deem crucial for a healthy, long-term relationship, or even a one night stand with that girl you picked up in the bar.

It's the 'tooth-to-gum' ratio, and it could not be more important. I find that even otherwise attractive women can have problems in this department, and there is regretfully very little that can be done about it. I'm sure men can be afflicted with poor tooth-to-gum ratios, but honestly, I don't pay attention to men's mouths a whole hell of a lot.

What it is:
The tooth-to-gum ratio addresses the size of the teeth compared to the visible gum line. I personally am in heavy favor of the teeth compared to gum, but for each person, I'm sure it's a little different. Most of the time its like, whatever, not really noticeable. But when you have an extremely out of balance t-to-g ratio (favoring the g), it's just a very unflattering look.

An example:
Thanks for not saying hi to me the last time we saw each other. It's not like we went to the same school for like 7 years or anything.

As you can clearly see the size of the teeth is completely disproportionate to the size of the gums. I'm not going to lie, its a complete turn-off to me. The girl in the background, on the other hand, has a good tooth-to-gum ratio. Interestingly, I don't have a problem with a t-to-g ratio that's extreme in the other direction, though I've never really seen one radical enough to notice

I guess really my point is that I don't like seeing too much of your gums when you smile. I don't know why. And neither do you. So do you have small chicklet teeth and huge brontosaurus gums like this girl? My advice: stop smiling.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Horrible News!

A tragic, time-lost accident has occured at our beloved construction site on F Sreet. Recently, there was some kind of fiasco, which resulted in the lost-time clock being reset to 3. It has now been stuck at 3 days for a couple days, so I just hope that that poor soul is OK--and not an illegal immigrant.

Quick Note: There was a lot more to this post when I decided to write it 36 hours ago.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Deep Thoughts

I think this is a rather appropriate title for this post because most of what I'm about to say is rather idiotic.

Firstly, I'm getting frustrated with the difference between lead and lead. I mean it's very clear when its spoken because lead is pronounced dissimilarly from lead, but it's very difficult to understand when typed. Because lets face it, lead means one thing while lead means something entirely different. It is crucial to differentiate.

For example, one of the many people on my buddy list whose away messages i compulsively check but haven't talked to in months (oh, did we as a society move past that) had the following away message the other night (or something similar): "lead is on hillary". Now how am I supposed to interpret that. Are you a Clinton fan with poor grammatical ability, and want to let me know that Hillary is leading in the delegate count? Or perhaps you are alerting me to the fact Mrs. Clinton was involved in a tragic factory accident and is now buried underneath several tons of plumbum (Latin for lead, stay with me here).

This is just one of may questions we may never have the answers to.

Secondly, some good news. While trawling for some classical music to listen to (I love classical, but I don't know the name of anything or who composed it) I found this radio station I used to listen to all the time when I was just a wee lad. Not only did I find it, but it's one of the basic ones on iTunes. It's called WQXR, and it's broadcast on 96.3 FM in New York. I remember listening to June LaBelle going to bed, and getting really confused when I learned about Patti. Anyway, the late night personality is different, but the music's just as good.

For some reason this odd comedy album that I found a couple of years ago rooting around my parents' old shit popped in my head. Its called, "Don't Smoke Dope, Fry Your Hair", and it's by Franklyn Ajaye. Goodnight!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Thank You For Calling 4Ride

Please hold and an operator will be with you shortly. Do not hang up and call back, or your call will go to the end of the line. If you are holding for a long time, you have another option...

If you go to George Washington, you've heard this guy. Several times. I just listened to him saying the same thing over, and over, waiting to talk to the whore who sends me my delightful free ride. Today, I listened to him for 10 minutes. Ten solid minutes.

Why? Actually, my Why? divides into two parts: The first why is why do I have to listen to this annoying guy more than once? I mean the GW phone system actually has pretty good hold music. It's mostly jazz. I like it. And trust me, I'm not going to forget the fact that I'm on hold with 4Ride. Also, I don't care that there are North and South Shuttles. They have really stupid routes and I don't think I'll ever use it. So stop telling me about it.

Secondly, why do I have to hold for so damn long. Freshman year, and even sophomore year, hold time was at most 3-5 minutes, not 10. I mean I'd say it took me about 25 to 30 seconds to convey where I was going, where I was, my last name, and how many people I was (just one tonight). Are you trying to tell me that there were 20 people ahead of me, waiting for a 4Ride themselves. This wasn't even peak time mind you, it was Sunday night at like 11:00.

So that tells me the 4Ride system is broken. Either it is understaffed, which could very well be true, or the staff is just completely incompetent. If it's understaffed, then either hire another dispatcher, more drivers, or both. I mean with what we're charged, I think the school can afford it. If they're incompetent people (which I wouldn't be surprised about at all), fire them and hire more competant ones. Maybe we could offer them a higher starting salary. I mean I think the school can afford it. After all we're footing the $8 million bill to renovate Alumni House so that President Knapp can move in and then move out a year and a half later because he can't take the noise.

Enough of that. On to happier things like the fact that I had an amazing birthday this weekend and I got a job (tentatively) as a marketing intern at a fairly legit law firm. Actually a really legit law firm. Well, I'll bore you with another subject in another post. Until then, until then.

Monday, February 04, 2008

We Have Worked 36 Days Without a Lost Time Injury

That might have been true at one point, but it's certainly not true today. The work site on Square whatever (the one with the gigantic hole in the ground) has a sign:
Looks pretty straight-forward, the appearances are even good, with the "6" pushed all the way to the end so it seems like its ready to be replaced with a nice old seven. Well let me tell you this, appearances can be deceiving. It has been about a week and a half since they updated this thing. That's not even everything!

Before there were 36 days, there weren't 35. No sir, that sign was blank until someone arbitrarily threw that 36 up there to add legitimacy. And that legitimacy disappeared in the two and a half weeks it's stayed 36 days.

So because this post doesn't really have a point, I'll make one. Don't put the sign up if you're not going to be honest about it. There might be some young lad that is just fascinated how long you can go without a time lost injury, and you're ruining his dreams, Clark Construction, ruining his dreams.

In other news, this blog has fought long and hard for legitimacy, and the other day, it was achieved! The Audi Superbowl Commercial was officially the 100th post to this fair blog (and just think, it only took 2 1/2 years). Anyway, thats all for now, but you never know when I'll update again. Until then.

Truth in Engineering

Quite possibly my favorite commercial from the Superbowl, this Audi R8 commercial puts together two of my favorite elements: classic bad ass movies and new bad ass cars.

Anyway, it happens to be 2:47 in the am and I need to go to bed. Until next time.

UPDATE: The actor in the ad is none other than Alex Rocco, the original cast member from The Godfather who woke up in bed with the head of his beloved horse. Bad ass.