Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Matthew Lesko's An Idiot

"You've never seen a book so easy to use!" is a direct quote from Matthew Lesko (I figured out how to make links pop up into new windows). You might remember this character as the guy who has all those crazy commercials promoting "free money".

This sentence is similar to Lewis Black's example: "I never would have spent that year in college if it wasn't for my horse". What is wrong with you, Matthew Lesko? And why do I want to keep spelling your name Matthew Lesco?

You've never seen a book so easy to use. Are you retarded? A book so easy to use? I have to assume that someone besides Matthew Lesko looked at the script before he made the commercial. I assume someone saw the commercial in post-production before it hit the air. So I think it's fair to say that this was not a script error.

I can't get over this. A BOOK so easy to USE. I can see it now. You order your fresh copy of whatever his book is called, pull it out of the box (did he get the government to pay the postage), but wait, is the book broken? You just cannot figure out how to use it. You look in the box again; salvation! The instruction manual.

Step 1. Hold book in hands. For proper operation, ensure book is in the upright position
Step 2. With left hand, grasp top cover and tug in an arcing motion from right to left.
Step 3. Look down at text. Read.
Step 4. When all text has been read on page, take hand, and in similar arcing motion to cover, turn page. Repeat as needed.

Holy retarded dogshit, Batman! It really is the easiest book to operate I've ever seen! Matthew Lesko, I am hereby submitting your name to Keith Olbermann's 'Worst People in the World' bit on MSNBC. As soon as I figure out how.

In conclusion, I have misspelled Matthew Lesko's name every time I've typed it (including that one), therefore Matthew Lesko, you should rename yourself to Matthew Lesco.

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