Ripped from the headlines

Today, the Ridgefield Fire Department got their first chance to use their brand new Ladder Truck. Originally purchased in the 1980's, the truck has laid dormant, waiting for the four-alarm fire, or stranded child in room that it was intended for.

The fiasco today in front of town hall was none of those, as a cat was stuck in a tree. Main Street had to be shut down for upwards of two hours during the evening rush hour commute, as the Firefighters first had to figure out how to use to ladder system on the truck, then get up the guts to actually go up and retrieve the car.

Of the seven man crew, six played 21st finger to see who had to make the trek up the ladder. The seventh disqualified himself on the grounds of a heart condition.

Fire commisioner Gordon exclaimed the dauting 31-foot cat rescue "a stunning success" and hoped "it wouldn't be another 25 years until this piece of equiptment was able to be used again."

Mischa Lewis, the cat's owner, was mortified that her cat, Skippy, was stuck up there so long. "I was just taking Skippy for a stroll down Main Street, when she darted away and scaled the tree," she exclamed. When asked what she was doing walking her cat, Ms. Lewis quickly fled the scene. The tree's spokesman declined to comment on the matter.

When asked if the Fire Department should have just waited until after rush hour to retrieve the cat, Mark Waltham, a 37 year old South Salem, NY resident believed that they should have just shot the cat, and let traffic continue. Many others agreed.

This marks the sixth time that Skippy has been stuck in a tree, according to Ms. Lewis. The first four, an ordinary ladder was able to be used to retrieve her, and on the fifth encounter, a local neighbor simply shook the tree branch until Skippy fell out. "Maybe she just doesn't like being close to me," Ms. Lewis exclaimed about Skippy's frequent climbing attempts. We can't blame the cat.