Friday, February 18, 2011

On Letter Writing and Greeting Card Efficiency

For anyone who knows me and for anyone who doesn't, I have a strong abhorrence for greeting cards. I can’t stand “pre-populated messages” and the simple “insert signature here” that stamps that you approve this message.

I own stationary and a pen is always by my side. There is a casual elegance and grace in writing letters. I firmly believe this stems from the deliberate amount of time it takes to craft a letter and a degree of deference to the art of letter writing. When in receipt of mail there is nothing better than a letter that is handwritten on stationary, devoid of any “pre-populated message.” Letter writing provides this improbable dichotomy of communication that is simultaneously “colloquial and graceful,” “informative and superfluous,” “spontaneous and planned,” and at all times unwittingly familiar.

What I am providing below is an “all-purpose occasion card1” which can be distributed for all types of occasions. By maintaining a constant supply of these cards which can be quickly distributed you will have more time for writing a proper letter.



Circle all choices that apply. Alternatively cross out all choices that do not apply.
Affix stamp
Fill out address of recipient


1by all accounts2this is nine thousand percent more efficient
2Largely scientific3

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