25 Things I Hate About You

Have you seen those "25 Facts You Didn't Know About Me" (or similar) posts on Facebook? Perhaps you've been tagged in one (or two). Perhaps you've even written one yourself. Well here's the point, and I'm trying to be as polite as possible here. Shut the fuck up. You're clogging my Feed with the same thing over and over again:

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.) If you don't click publish, you lose it all :(

On a side note, remember how the news feed on Facebook was going to be its downfall? Wow, that changed fast. Alas, I digress.

OK, OK, I'll level with you. You can continue doing these little "25 things" things, but only under the following conditions:

• You may not reference where you went abroad - everyone who should have know that already does.
• You may not state how quirky you are - because you aren't
• "I hate XXXXX for making me do this" - You clearly don't because you're doing it. Nobody cares, so this is also banned
• You may not discuss how much you love your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ambiguously gendered partner/et al. - because a. nobody cares and b. everyone who should have known that already does.

Please note: this is nowhere near a complete list.

Anyway, the point is that these things feel a little "chain email" for me. Remember doing that n 7th grade? Remember how fast it got old? Let's not try and go through that again.

When I started writing this, I thought I was going to have a really clear-cut, convincing argument. As it turns out the best I can do is Peter Griffin saying "Come on"



Stay tuned next time for an in depth interview with John Gray, where we find out men are, in fact, from Venus.

Gnip Gnop

What's not to like?

Donate Your Facebook Status Today!

I really don't care about your political beliefs. Really. And you know what else, nobody else does either. Maybe you want to bomb the Palestinians back to the Stone Age, or throw the Jew down the well (So my people can be free!). Keep it to yourself.

I've recently learned I have the ability to (annoyingly) donate my Facebook status to a cause!
Gah, what a waste of fucking time. The most recent example I can think of, obviously, is the current Israeli Gaza Situation. Now I'm all for causes, but what I'm not for is forcing me to hear about them while I'm trying to figure out who you hooked up with last Tuesday at McFaddens.

But I am not without compassion! And when a good cause comes along that directly affects someone immediately close to me, I'm more than happy to stand by it.

Let's look at the following example:

Hmmm, Blah blah blah, Hamas is such a bad organization, Israel's being unfair, more of the same. But wait. Holy shit, Jarryd lost his dog. That's horrible! And if you click on the link, which by the way please do: http://findmydogalli.blogspot.com I think you'll agree that this is miserable, and Alli is lost and scared and alone.

Alas I digress, the point is, donate your status when something is really important, but not when there's a news story that's halfway around the world and EVERYBODY knows about anyway.

I Watch Appallingly Bad Television

I was doing a bit of thinking recently, and I came to a realization. I watch a lot of television; one could in fact argue that I watch way too much. And you know what, most of it is pretty bad.

So here we go, a smattering of the shit that I watch, for better or worse.

Thomas The Tank Engine: Two words: Ringo Starr. You don't like those words? How about George Carlin or Alec Baldwin. This show had some great narrators, and overall was pretty amazing. The link is to a truly classic episode: Thomas and the Breakdown Train. Furthermore, it has the perks of being free on Comcast OnDemand. Amazing.

The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross: Continuing on with shows from my childhood. You might remember him as the guy who's famous for saying, "We don't make mistakes, we make happy accidents." He's just got the voice, the painting abilities, and the thing he does banging out his paintbrush on the easel to dry it off is really just one of the best things that has ever happened to me. The worst thing is that I couldn't find any clips on YouTube--apparently there's this whole 'copyright infringement' nonsense. Whatever.

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood: I really don't know when it's on anymore (similar to the Joy of Painting) but when it's on, you're damn right I watch it. The link I included is Mister Rogers' testimony to the Senate Subcommittee on Communications in 1969, urging Congress to continue funding public television. It's really heartfelt--watch it and you'll feel better about yourself. Just a genuinely nice guy, and very concerned with childhood development, Mr. Rogers was depressingly not a Navy SEAL, though that doesn't make the show any less worth watching.

The Twilight Zone: Say what you will, but this show ended production about 45 years ago and it's still brilliant. I wish I had an imagination like Rod Serling. Adding to its staying power, Twilight Zone had a ton of stars, either at the end or beginning of their careers, making for some very enticing television. I've linked to one of my favorite episodes, "To Serve Man". Just watch it.

Basically Anything on BBC America: Except, for some reason, Cash in the Attic--I just can't get into it. My favorites are Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares (The UK one, not the US one), Skins (holy shit amazing), Top Gear, and Doctor Who (don't judge); as well as How Clean is your House and You Are What You Eat. As it turns out, most of these programs are made by Channel 4, but whatever. The channel's brilliant: watch it, love it.

Educational Shows: I love The Universe on the History Channel, and basically anything on the Science Channel, National Geographic, Discovery Channel and any other learning type channel. Except TLC. I do not care for that family of like 19, for example, or the redecorating show. But seriously, if it's got Neil deGrasse Tyson or Michio Kaku (yes that is his MySpace page) I love it.

So that's a little overwhelming. Sorry for getting a little link-happy towards the end, but I just want you to know I did my research for you. I also neglected to include some of the more normal stuff I watch--SportsCenter, the news, My Super Sweet Sixteen (for more on that, see this post on the subject), because its boring, and you don't want to read about it.

And that's that. Happy 2009.