On Imminent Domain, Proper iPad Usage, and the Original Mai Tai Recipe

No more than one year ago the concept of thinking about a consolidated online communication strategy for me would be as you would imagine, unimaginable.

Over the past year I have shed my inhibitions of writing online and derision of the format and have fully embraced the blog¹. The unwitting realization I have come to realize in the past ten months is that there is a discernable difference between writing in a series of moleskine notebooks and what I blog about. With the transaction cost of posting on a blog being virtually zero it would be rational to expect that any and all musings would make it to the blog. Contrary to what occurs in my series of notebooks, bar napkins², and regular napkins I have developed a strong sense of self-editing in the blog.

It is my firm belief that an implicit social contract exists between the writer and the reader. It is the writer’s duty to provide the best available content and to publish all the posts that are fit to blog. For every post that appears on the blog exist a series of musings, undeveloped concepts, and long lost ideas As a result the way I am as a writer³ comes very much out of what I want as a reader.

I’ve decided to consolidate my communications in a series of outlets that will be unified by a soon to be determined online domain⁴.

My newly acquired iPad will often be the center-point of my digital communication series. Over the past two weeks I have set-up my iPad to be a unified media manager of music, videos, documents, and nearly any time of digital file you can think of.

I have conveniently linked my iPad to a QNap Raid6 server and to a cloud service allowing me over 10TB of available storage space with multiple drive failure protection with data-duplication to save space⁸. This virtualized setup connects all of my points of contact including my stereo. This very morning I finished the setup uploading a substantial library worth of books, subscriptions to magazines, all of my newspapers, and nearly every piece of media one could want. It was at that moment I packed a small bag complete with a moleskine notebook, my copy of Rimbaud’s Une Saison en Enfer⁹, and the Sunday times and walked no more than twenty-seven blocks to my typical bench at East-River Park where I unpacked and continued to sit for several hours¹⁰.

Footnotes:

¹www.capt-renault.blogspot.com

²My bar napkin musings are often quite informative, include diagrams, and often have a distinct gin aroma

³What really interest me about writing is this exchange between consciousness and this relationship to talk to each other when we otherwise wouldn’t.

⁴ Blog: www.capt-renault.blogspot.com

The blog will continue to contain long form post with a focus on economics and drink recipes

Twitter:

The goal of the twitter will be to document short ideas⁵, musings, jokes, and pictures. I will also use it to communicate with a select number of people I will follow

4Square:

Selectively document where I am and to best geo-locate with my close friends

Website⁶:

The website will provide the host to all the forms of communication and will also feature appendix information, diagrams, and details of any ongoing art projects

⁵Ideas and thoughts are really the greatest thing going

⁶My initial thought was to register www.jasonme.ad⁷

⁷Registering a webpage with an “ad” extension proves to be an issue as I am not an Andorran citizen and would have to register a limited liability corporation within Andorra. While this can all be done online and I enjoy the frivolity of having a holding company in Andorra I don’t believe I want to spend the requested $188 per year for that privilege against my ability to think of something equally clever.

⁸A large motivating factor was just knowing that I could do this

⁹I have yet to find another copy that has the English translation on the left page and the original French on the right page as is this copy that was misappropriate from The George Washington University library

¹⁰As we are beginning to feel the onset of spring I thought it would be appropriate to share a summer cocktail. Under the right setting I rather like summer cocktails. Mai Tai is a Tahitian word for “good” which appropriately describes the drink called the “Mai Tai.” The now-chain restaurant Trader Vic’s claims to have invented the Mai Tai, I am quite suspect of the claim “invented” but I do maintain that they popularized the drink in the United States. The below is the traditional Trader Vic’s recipe:

• 2 ounces of 17-year old J. Wray & Nephew Rum over shaved ice
• Juice from one very fresh lime
• 1/2 ounce Holland DeKuyper Orange Curacao
• 1/4 ounce Trader Vic's Rock Candy Syrup
• 1/2 ounce French Garier Orgeat Syrup
• Shake for no more than 10 seconds
• Pour into an old fashioned glass and garnish with a spring of mint

On how technological advances affect expressions and a peerless cocktail

Moore’s law describes the long term trend in computer hardware where the number of transistors that can be placed on an integrated circuit doubles approximately every two years. While this trend is currently slowing down, it has remained relatively consistent for the past sixty years. Although Intel co-founder Gordon Moore was originally writing¹ about transistors, this phenomenon applies to processing speed, hard drive capacity, server capacity, and the overall capabilities of many digital devices.

We experience this “law” in everyday life and price this into our decision making³. Last year’s model although state of the art at the time of purchase is now, for lack of a worse word passé. Every year the maximum processing speed or hard drive space increases and pushes down the price of what was previously the top model.

And now that we have some shared context, let us get down to the crux of this article.

I very much like expressions. I would self-describe myself as someone who has a fair number of personal expressions, sayings, expressive hand-motions, diction, and who has a general tone of voice. This is all greatly accentuated if I am telling a story, a yarn, or even recounting a flimflam⁴.

Four days ago at approximately forty minutes past noon I was taking my lunch in Madison Square Park, enjoying the welcomed nice weather and Shack Burger. I happily divided my time between reading, drawing, and being pensive in thought. My thoughts tend to be jumbled, convoluted, and alternate between the rather complex and thoughts that simply are not getting their due time and attention and are at risk of being classified as unimportant by many.

In some way or the other I started thinking about the phrase:

“Nothing to write home about”

I have certainly used this phrase⁵; the last time being in regard to an un-eventful lamb burger. The expression would be used to describe something not particularly exciting, nor special, or was not newsworthy. According to the Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings the expression in its current form dates back to the late nineteenth century citing; “he was bleeding a bit, but nothing to write home about. G.D.H. Cole, "The Man from the River." There is also a foot note mentioning that this expression gained favor among WWI troops stationed far from home.

While the surface level purpose of the expression has remained constant, the underlying connotation of what constitutes “something to write home about” certainly has not. Over time the marginal cost and barrier to convey news has exponentially diminished. The extraordinary number of technological outlets that spring everyday allows me to express any opinion with increasing speed. The barrier to write home is so low that nearly everything can be written home about at virtually no cost other than the time based opportunity cost. The wounded soldier who was bleeding in the initial citation would have no doubt tweeted home if the technology was available. The type of news that would eclipse the “Writing Home Threshold” from a WWI foxhole is quite different than what the threshold is today. I speculate that in the 1890s you diligently thought about when you would write home and if the information would in fact be timely by the time it arrived. Late hours into the night, scotch in hand and peering out the window from that space you stand when you are thinking, would be devoted to evaluating if this news is in fact something to write home about. The drink in hand would probably be something like this:

The Peerless Martini:

• One cap full of dry vermouth
• 3oz of Plymouth gin
• Ice
• 2 dashes of orange bitters

Remove your martini glass from your bar. Fill the cap of the vermouth bottle with dry vermouth (this should be approximately 1/7^th of an oz). Swirl around the vermouth coating the inside of the glass. Pour the excess vermouth into a shaker filled 3/4^th of the way with fresh ice. Pour the 3oz of gin plus that additional extra ounce if it has been a long day or a day ending in “y”. Vigorously shake for approximately 28 seconds. Strain and pour into the glass. Take a generous twist of lemon and twist over the martini releasing some of the natural oil; run over the rim of the glass and place on top. Add two dashes of orange bitters and stir.

The orange bitters takes a perfect drink and truly makes it peerless.

Footnotes:

¹Moore’s original thoughts can be found in the April 19^th, 1965 issue of Electronics Magazine in a piece entitled “Cramming² more components onto integrated circuits.”

²Excellent diction in the usage of “cramming”

³I have another conceptual idea about how activity based peak performance will effect pricing of personal computers for the next 10 years. Conceptually Moore’s law is also slowing down because the demand for capability utilization on some electronic will be significantly less. The marginal difference between yearly models will diminish.

⁴I was surprised flimflam was one word in the OED

⁵You are probably thinking about when you did right now

On Letter Writing and Greeting Card Efficiency

For anyone who knows me and for anyone who doesn't, I have a strong abhorrence for greeting cards. I can’t stand “pre-populated messages” and the simple “insert signature here” that stamps that you approve this message.

I own stationary and a pen is always by my side. There is a casual elegance and grace in writing letters. I firmly believe this stems from the deliberate amount of time it takes to craft a letter and a degree of deference to the art of letter writing. When in receipt of mail there is nothing better than a letter that is handwritten on stationary, devoid of any “pre-populated message.” Letter writing provides this improbable dichotomy of communication that is simultaneously “colloquial and graceful,” “informative and superfluous,” “spontaneous and planned,” and at all times unwittingly familiar.

What I am providing below is an “all-purpose occasion card¹” which can be distributed for all types of occasions. By maintaining a constant supply of these cards which can be quickly distributed you will have more time for writing a proper letter.

Enjoy.

Directions:

Circle all choices that apply. Alternatively cross out all choices that do not apply.
Affix stamp
Fill out address of recipient
Mail








footnotes:

¹by all accounts²this is nine thousand percent more efficient
²Largely scientific^3
3Fact!

My experiences with cobblers and cobblers

In all of my years I have never met a cobbler I did not like. For a man of my age I do believe I have more than the average¹ amount of cobbling demands but that is beside the point. This past weekend I needed the sole on a pair of oxfords repaired so I ambled down avenue A to find a cobbler that had Sunday hours². I stopped in at AK Shoe Repair on East 9th where I was happily welcomed. In all of my years every cobbler I have met has fit this description:

• Under 5 foot 6 inches
• Most likely under 5 foot 2 inches with some sort of hunch from decades of cobbling
• Over 75 years old
• Owns store that has not changed in 50 years
• Works in a dimly lit space with shoe laces and cedar shoe tress covering every last inch of the wall
• Speaks a mumbled version of English where all the consonants seem to blend together
• Oh so nice and definitely someone's grandpa
• Charges $10 dollars for any and all type of work plus $2 for shoe shine
• Extremely proud of work and can’t wait to tell you.

Continually every cobbler I have met has always been so excited to show me the work he has done, whether it is replacing a heel seamlessly, fixing the sole of the shoe, or replacing a heel seamlessly. I’m always waved in to duck down and see the meticulous detail that has been a result of decades of experience and effort. All for which I am then charged ten dollars plus an additional two for the shine.

This is a recipe for blueberry cobbler³ from Thomas Keller’s book Ad-Hoc at Home.

Topping:
1-3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp each: baking powder, baking soda
6 tbsp unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
Filling:
8 cups blueberries
1/4 cup granulated sugar
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
Finely grated zest of 1 lemon
Cinnamon sugar:
1 tbsp granulated sugar
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

For topping, in medium bowl, stir together flour, baking powder and baking soda.
In large bowl, combine butter and sugar. Using hand mixer, mix on low speed, then beat on medium until mixture is light and creamy, about 2 minutes, scraping down sides as needed. Beat in eggs, one at a time, until fully incorporated. Add flour mixture in 3 batches, alternating with buttermilk in 2 batches. Scrape down sides; mix again to ensure all ingredients are combined.

For filling, in medium bowl, toss blueberries with sugar, flour and zest. Spread in 9- by 13-inch baking dish. Spoon mounds of batter over berries, leaving space between mounds. (Makes about 12 mounds.)

For cinnamon sugar, stir together sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle over batter. Bake in preheated 350F oven 40 minutes or until juices are bubbling and topping is golden and cooked through.

Let stand at least 10 minutes before serving. (Refrigerate leftovers up to 2 days.)
Makes 6 servings.



footnotes:


¹ plus two standard deviations
² cobbler day of rest
³ delicious

On Unnecessary Necessities and Blanche Devereaux

My aesthetic personal has always leaned toward unnecessary necessities; firmly defined as the design points that are superfluous in existence and utterly indispensable. This includes but is not limited to warehouses, improbable shelving, stacks and stacks of books circa 1918, oversized antique French globes, perhaps some vintage rope… to name a few.

As I was combing through back issues of the New York Times, yes I think that is a thing, I stumbled across an article explaining on how Blanche, i speculate she has a real name, has a secret passage. My immediate thoughts jumped between “why don’t I have a secret passage,” “where would it go “and most pressing “why the hell does Blanche have a secret passage and I don’t.”

Blanche’s abode is on the market for $2.25 million and is listed with Brown Harris Stevens. It is a modest three bedroom on a pleasant block off of 1st avenue, although probably not hopping enough for the below sixty set.

In the pantry however was a door disguised as a spice rack. This led to of all things a bathroom. Unfortunately there is no secret lair, no treasure of Al Capone, not even a shrine to Betty White.

The reasons for Blanche having a secret bathroom are probably much more mundane than sinister, and more practical than awesome.

The obvious next question is where my secret passage would go. Similar to my other ideas it gravitates to this concept of entering an undersized door into an oversized room that you didn’t really comprehend existed because spatial relations can be hard sometimes and is sparsely lit and industrially decorated. With all time I would inevitably spend there a bathroom would be both functional and appropriate. And it’s always great for resale value…


References:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/realestate/13deal2.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss

On Architectural Oversight and Aperitifs

In New York City, and I imagine part of the eastern seaboard, it had been snowing continuously for what seems to be no less than fifty-two hours. From what I saw out of window and from what the sushi delivery man relayed to me about the conditions, it is quite bad.

Despite Hector’s diatribe on city’s handling of the snow and the apparent conditions I decided to trek to the office today. After exiting the subway and walking down 53rd street past Park I was thankful to only almost fall no more than four times. Chelsea boots, although quite conducive to my normal assassin down the avenue, are not ideal for snowy pavement. Not really paying attention to anything as I was walking I approached my office building and stepped over a makeshift barrier of yellow caution tape as if that was normal and incredibly appropriate. I then looked around and I was surrounded by this tape and started to think why.

Conventional circumstances would probably cause someone to exit the area and examine the situation but I thought of it as prudent to observe from the inside out, not quite gonzo journalism but I think pretty close. It was then a large clump of snow came hurdling down and struck within the taped in area and exploded like an apache missile sending snow shrapnel in my direction.

I looked up and it was apparent what was happening. The architect clearly did not plan for the snow. Foolish and irresponsible, really. Everything is all in the details.

Let me explain.

My office building on Madison Avenue has a generous curve leading up to a 14th floor deck. From the 14th floor on the building straightens out and is perpendicular with the road. As the snow falls off the 14th floor deck it then hurdles down the ramp that is the curvature of the building and shuttles out into the splash zone.
I spent to long standing acting as a target for the snow. They don’t deserve that chance.

Anyway after finally arriving today it was apparent that I am the only person in the office. I turned on the lights, hung up my coat, and made myself a coffee. Sitting in my office sorting through emails, responding where appropriate, and turning on a copy of Rain Dogs by Tom Waits.

After a light lunch I turned to my bar and contemplated what I would make to drink. My home bar is meticulous arranged and plentiful. A cornucopia of vermouths, bitters, gins, scotch, rums, absinthes, velvet falernum, and most anything you could want. For late nights my bar in the office is appropriately stocked with miniature bottle versions of what I have at home.

Campari is an Italian vermouth with a deep, ruby red color and an appropriate amount of bitterness. The herbs in Campari and many types of vermouth are perfect for the aperitif. The aperitif is the first drink of the evening. It is how you should start not only a meal, but the night.

The aperitif is elegant. The aperitif is infinitely contemporary in its classicalness. The pre-dinner drink stimulates the appetite and conversations, what could be better. There is an implicit grace and civility in drinking with diligence and purpose. A traditional aperitif such as the Negroni is perfect. One drink is more than enough as you then venture on for a meal and have your pre dinner martini, followed by wine, followed by a glass of champagne with dessert, and a digestif.

The Negroni
• 2oz Plymouth Gin
• Slightly less than 2oz of Campari
• Slightly less than 2oz of Italian Vermouth (I enjoy Punt e Mes¹ or a Rosso)

In a cocktail shaker pour all of the ingredients with a few ice cubes and stir gently. This melts a small part of the ice without diluting the drink. In a rocks glass chisel one large ice cube. Traditionally the Negroni is served with an orange but I prefer a lemon twist. Twist the lemon over the ice to release the natural oils and run along the rim of the glass. Pour the stirred ingredients over and serve. The large ice cube is perfect for the purpose of the aperitif as it does not dilute the drink but over the course of conversation where a drink may be neglected it will appropriately soften the drink.


Oh and here is some more of my novel/screenplay

I was not looking forward to going to India but I was surprised when I got there. Just the idea of how many shots you need and the malaria pills really upset me.

-I didn’t take any shots

You didn’t? And then you have to take Malaria pills too.

-Oh, I didn’t take mine

Well I didn’t take mine either but I at least had them with me. Michael took his the entire time and they gave him horrible nightmares.

- To be fair we did buy the pills on the street and the gentleman did inform us that the cheaper pills would give us nightmares.

And then at first you think that monkeys are so incredible and you see them up close, and then you start feeling competitive with the monkeys and you realize they don’t really have your best interest at heart.



¹ Punt e Mes translates to "Point and a half," being about a point of sweetness and a half a point of bitterness. Halfway between Campari and Sweet Vermouth it is preferred for Negroni's adding a plesant savory bitterness

Bored-eaux, Scarf events

I love Bordeaux. I would even venture to say that I subsist on Bordeaux¹. However, the ever increasing prices are deeply troubling me. The finite number of barrels combined with the ever peaking demand is not working in my favor. I have thought about purchasing Bordeaux futures lately. By all accounts it could very well be a good investment and I could preemptively purchase the Bordeaux I no doubt want to consume. Conceivably I could even by enough Bordeaux to satisfy my personal demand and sell the remainder.

The pricing of Bordeaux all begins during the en primeur season of France, occurring annually in early April. The en primeur season is quite the event² for oenophiles. Wine merchants and renowned experts taste young Bordeaux that have yet to be bottled, and in many cases have just finished fermenting⁵. The marks and criticism bestowed by Robert Parker and the like of the wine community regarding a wine that will undoubtedly change complexion and fortitude during the remaining time in the barrel of course has sweeping changes in the financial markets.

The volume of Bordeaux being exported to China has increased nearly 400% over the last decade with the prices following suit. Last year, China passed the U.S. to become Bordeaux's largest non-European export market. The demand for red wine in China, Bordeaux in particular, has transcended the perfunctory bottle with dinner and is an irrefutable symbol of status.



So, thanks China.

Really, thank you for this demand-pull inflation. Collateralized Bordeaux Obligations (CBO) are going through the proverbial chateaux roof and a metaphorical and literal bubble seems to be developing. While many wines are increasing in value nearly 40% have decreased in value from their en primeur pricing. While the speculation is not only with the quality of that year’s harvest, the speculation is also on the quality of the harvest for the next few years. New superior vintages of the substitute good could appear and dramatically drive down the prices. Besides Bordeaux as wines from other regions develop and sell at a lower price the value over the replacement option decreases and pushes down the price of Bordeaux to a rational equilibrium.

And now here are some lines from my upcoming novel:

Have you seen Steven lately?

--Not recently, how is his export business?

I can’t believe how ostentatious he is. He always unbuttons the last button on the cuff of his suit jacket. I can’t stand it.

--I don’t care for that one bit.

It’s quite troubling really.



¹ I subsist on Bordeaux.
² When Tom Baker, the fourth incarnation of Dr. Who³, was cast costume designer “James Acheson picked up a load of wool and asked a knitter called Begonia Pope to knit a scarf for Tom. She inadvertently used all the wool Acheson had given her, resulting in a scarf that was some twenty feet long.” While enjoying the internet I came upon a website⁴ that details the history of Baker’s signature scarf as well as detailed instructions on how to create your own. The website lists the notable scarf events to knit the scarf. I desperately hope scarf event is the proper term for a set of scarf instructions. I do not have the faculty to create such scarf.
³ The producer who had the idea that the Doctor suddenly had to change forms just every so often, or when there was probably a contract dispute, was brilliant. I think we can all agree that David Tennant was an awesome Doctor.
⁴ http://www.doctorwhoscarf.com/index.php
⁵ I made a barrel of wine with two of my friends one summer. We did it in my basement, which ultimately led to our downfall as we did not account for the effect the decreased temperature has on the time it takes proper fermentation to occur. We also kept dropping things into the barrel and had to fish them out with our hands.

Optimal Consumer Paper Towel Pricing Strategy

Yesterday I spilled a glass of Bordeaux when I was making an overly dramatic hand gesture as I was conceptualization plans for an unrelated project on an unrelated topic; which by all accounts may take up the next 8 blog post. The time this took place is irrelevant. After cleaning up the spill with the paper towels we had on hand I left the apartment to CVS to pick up more cleaning supplies to support the frequency of drinks I am spilling in my apartment.

The rows of different brands of paper towels of varying ply and prices were neatly arranged in the 23rd street CVS with the premium bounty resting top shelf. To give consumers some guidance on value CVS provided a price per sheet for each roll. This is not an optimal way to judge the value of paper towels. I don’t really care what the price per sheet is, but rather the price per spill. What I want to know is how many spills on average this roll can support. So I purchased the premium Bounty two ply at 1.4 cents per sheet and the cheapest CVS generic brand at .9 cents per sheet, with Bounty costing 55% more for a single role.

I then needed to define a standard unit of measure for spill. To my knowledge “spill” has yet to be accurately defined by Science and is not included on either the New York State Physics or Chemistry reference tables. Taking a survey of the half consumed wine, martini, collins, gin & tonic glasses, and martini glasses scattered across my bedroom I was able to deduce the following:
• My water glasses on average had 8 fluid ounces remaining, high potential for spills due to the high center of gravity and my propensity for clumsiness
• My gin and tonic glasses had approximately 1 oz remaining (melted ice cubes)
• My martini glasses were bone dry
• Wine glasses typically contained less than an oz; strong clustering of stemware appeared on my nightstand dangerously close to my ivory bed linens

Taking a weighted average cost of cleanup (WACC for short) I am defining a spill as 6.5 ounces. I then poured three separate Spill units on the floor; one for Bounty, one for the cheap CVS brand, and one as the control.

The Bounty paper towel was easily able to absorb the entire spill. Unverified hypothesis believe that Bounty could absorb 1.2 Spills per sheet. The CVS brand required a second sheet to fully absorb a spill. The full spill remained in the control group.

Doing some quick math I was able to determine that Bounty was the clear winner at 1.2 cents per spill and the CVS brand at over 1.9 cents per spill. fin.

I Watch Appallingly Bad Television

I was doing a bit of thinking recently, and I came to a realization. I watch a lot of television; one could in fact argue that I watch way too much. And you know what, most of it is pretty bad.

So here we go, a smattering of the shit that I watch, for better or worse.

Thomas The Tank Engine: Two words: Ringo Starr. You don't like those words? How about George Carlin or Alec Baldwin. This show had some great narrators, and overall was pretty amazing. The link is to a truly classic episode: Thomas and the Breakdown Train. Furthermore, it has the perks of being free on Comcast OnDemand. Amazing.

The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross: Continuing on with shows from my childhood. You might remember him as the guy who's famous for saying, "We don't make mistakes, we make happy accidents." He's just got the voice, the painting abilities, and the thing he does banging out his paintbrush on the easel to dry it off is really just one of the best things that has ever happened to me. The worst thing is that I couldn't find any clips on YouTube--apparently there's this whole 'copyright infringement' nonsense. Whatever.

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood: I really don't know when it's on anymore (similar to the Joy of Painting) but when it's on, you're damn right I watch it. The link I included is Mister Rogers' testimony to the Senate Subcommittee on Communications in 1969, urging Congress to continue funding public television. It's really heartfelt--watch it and you'll feel better about yourself. Just a genuinely nice guy, and very concerned with childhood development, Mr. Rogers was depressingly not a Navy SEAL, though that doesn't make the show any less worth watching.

The Twilight Zone: Say what you will, but this show ended production about 45 years ago and it's still brilliant. I wish I had an imagination like Rod Serling. Adding to its staying power, Twilight Zone had a ton of stars, either at the end or beginning of their careers, making for some very enticing television. I've linked to one of my favorite episodes, "To Serve Man". Just watch it.

Basically Anything on BBC America: Except, for some reason, Cash in the Attic--I just can't get into it. My favorites are Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares (The UK one, not the US one), Skins (holy shit amazing), Top Gear, and Doctor Who (don't judge); as well as How Clean is your House and You Are What You Eat. As it turns out, most of these programs are made by Channel 4, but whatever. The channel's brilliant: watch it, love it.

Educational Shows: I love The Universe on the History Channel, and basically anything on the Science Channel, National Geographic, Discovery Channel and any other learning type channel. Except TLC. I do not care for that family of like 19, for example, or the redecorating show. But seriously, if it's got Neil deGrasse Tyson or Michio Kaku (yes that is his MySpace page) I love it.

So that's a little overwhelming. Sorry for getting a little link-happy towards the end, but I just want you to know I did my research for you. I also neglected to include some of the more normal stuff I watch--SportsCenter, the news, My Super Sweet Sixteen (for more on that, see this post on the subject), because its boring, and you don't want to read about it.

And that's that. Happy 2009.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy (Day 3)

Tom Waits stubles onto the set of "Fernwood Tonight," treating the crowd to a version of "The Piano has Been Drinking" and his usual wit with an interview. Tom Waits is a poet madman who speaks in the voice of savage cool. He will be soon seen in the new Terry Gilliam film, "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus" as The Devil, not just a devil or any devil...The Devil.

Apples, Carl Sagan, and the 4th Dimension (Day 2)

If there was ever someone to explain the 4th dimension in an easy to understand manner it would be Carl Sagan. Utilizing a red delcious apple, a knife, and some pieces of paper, Sagan represents a world that we can't fully comprehend in our minds and our left with ideas, conjecture, and hypercubes.

10 videos in 10 days - 1 2 3 4

1 2 3 4
monsters walking across the floor
I love counting, counting to the number 4

Feist on yesterday's episode of Sesame Street

The Most Adorable Thing I've Seen All Week

The Boys and the Subway is the story of two boys who are obsessed with the NYC Subway system. I think I like it so much because it reminds me of my childhood. Because it's genuinely one of the most innocent, adorable things I've ever seen.

On the lighter side, my wallet is still missing in lower Manhattan and I've got a bunch of stitches what was my 'good' foot.

But seriously, so adorable.

Food Fight Gone Global

Proof that I spend entirely too much time on the Internet. Then again, whatever. Of all the YouTube drivel I watch on a day-to-day basis, this clip is definitely one of the cooler ones.

Imagine every battle we've fought from World War II to the present day. Now condense it down to five minutes. Also, instead of people fighting, it's representative foods. Not going to lie, it's pretty cool. So if you have a minute and are bored, check it out.

Quick Hint: The Lox and Bagels are Israel. Because it's Jewish.

Need more? The official website should help you out if you happen to suck at history.
http://www.touristpictures.com/foodfight/index.htm What the Battles Represent http://www.touristpictures.com/foodfight/cheat.htm Which Food is Which Country

The Epitome of Cool

Peter O'Toole, I want to be you. Although I must admit, there have been nights that have ended up with me just like that. Except I may or may not have been asleep/passed out/blackout.

Crayola Mathematics

So in the 1970s a math riddle was proposed, could you create one set of directions that would get you to a finish point regardless of your starting location. Well 37 years later it was solved by a 64 year old Israel janitor/mathematician. Getting to the point and disregarding the too obvious Good Will Hunting reference, he employed a type of math called synchronized color theory.

When you sign up for a PHD level color theory class at MIT a pack of crayola is required (I recommend the 128 pack with the built in sharpener, the 256 is just obscene). Now getting back to this riddle and forgetting some of the complicated math behind it; imagine givng directions not in terms of left and right, north or south, or x and y but in colors. And, why not.

Indulge me in my MS Paint drawn diagram. No matter what point you start at if you follow the pattern"Red-Blue-Blue---Red-Blue-Blue---Red-Blue-Blue" you will end up at the yellow dot.

If you flip it, and always go "Blue-Red-Red" you will always end up at the green dot.




(you've definitely already tried to stump it)

Imagine a city plan where no matther where you are you know how to get to the hospital or to the liquor store. Pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. Forget the GPS and that gruff voice that barks out directions, all we needs is ROYGBIV.

Movies You Really Should Watch

I've recently been trying to compile a list of movies that you really should see before they get popular. A list of future cult classics, remember Donnie Darko, or The Big Lebowski. Maybe cult classic might not accurately describe it, more like movies that did poorly at the box office but are great films and usually do well with DVD releases or on premium movie channels, or whatever.

After about a week (month) or so of watching movies nobody's heard of and thinking that everyone should watch them, I had a thought: what if I just like bad movies? Maybe that's why they're not popular and never took off. Well, some/most of these movies have won awards (I know because I looked it up), so I figured maybe I don't like bad movies, maybe just artsy shit that's not meant for popular consumption. Well that could be true, but because you're reading this, I'm hoping we're on the same wavelength (even if just a little bit). Maybe they just had bad marketing campaigns. Regardless, I consider these films real gems that most people aren't even cognisant of. But should be. So without further adieu:

Underrated Movies You Should Watch: (clicking on the title opens the trailer in a new window)

Metropolis (1927) - Yes it's silent, yes it's black and white, but it's so good. I'm not sure if you'd call it a dystopian future, but it's a society where the "workers" and "thinkers" (read: proletariat vs the bourgeoisie) are completely separated which, needless to say, causes some problems. Brilliantly done, Fritz Lang is a genius. Watch it, it's one of my favorites. (Warning, kind of shitty trailer)

The Lives of Others (Die Leben des Andern)- Yet another German film, but much newer. It won an Academy Award last year for Best Foreign Film, and it's brilliant. It's the story of an East German Stasi agent who is assigned to monitor an intellectual. It's a an in depth look into human soul and doing the right thing blah blah blah. Brilliant cinematography and I totally got engrossed in the movie. So good. Also, the director's name is Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. And I mean you can't compete with that shit.

The Science of Sleep (La Science des rêves)- A French(ish) film screaming of surrealism depicting the trials and tribulations of a young man unwilling to accept the responsibilities of adulthood. There is actually no blue screening in this movie, and all the dream sequences were stop action and/or really done, which is amazing. Watch the trailer to understand what I'm talking about. Starring Charlotte Gainsbourgh and Gael Garcia Bernal this is a film you watch and just say awwww at the end. (I've already written about this one, so you really should have watched it)

Something The Lord Made - Finally, an American addition to the list. I actually just found out that this is an HBO made-for-TV movie, which would explain it's poor box office performance, but I really like it. Starring Alan Rickman (Snape in Harry Potter) and Mos Def, it tells the true story of the first heart bypass surgery. Great casting and a truly touching story. Bad trailer and poor quality. It was the best I could find. Sorry.

Pi - One of Darren Aronofsky's earliest movies (He's the guy that did Requiem for a Dream). Awesome and fascinating. After watching it 3 or 4 times, I've decided that it's about man's quest to understand his environment, and Pi is just a vehicle to help attain that goal. I actually first watched this movie in English class as an example of surrealism. Though I can't really qualify the movie as surrealistic or not, it's really worth watching.

Kind Hearts and Coronets - Another black and white film (did I mention that Pi was black & white too?), starring Alec Guinness (Obi Wan Kenobi) as 9 of the main characters. Seriously. Dark humor and dry wit at their finest, this movie is about one man's ascension to power. And so much more.

Titus - A true to form adaptation/modernization of Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus (heads up: it's a tragedy). The main character, Titus, is played by Anthony Hopkins and is scarily good. The main bad guy, Emperor Saturnine, is played by Alan "I have a gigantic nose" Cummings, and is also brilliant. A story about loyalty, tradition, lust, betrayal, and a ton of bloodshed, (I swear I wrote this before looking at the trailer) the movie's both long and worth it.

The Triplets of Belleville (Les Triplettes de Belleville) - French, beautifully animated, mostly silent (but in color), beautiful film. Just watch the trailer.

I mean I'm sure I could put a lot more on if I put the thought/time/effort into it, but it's late, and I'm tired, ergo this is what you get.

Dancing Queen

This is a great little tidbit about a woman who just didn't want to get up and dance, no matter how attractive the guy was that asked her.

Showing perseverance and a sheer will of character that probably spills into every aspect of life, this woman successfully fended off the advances of either 5 or 6 different men. Oh, it also has a funny ending. The clip is only 30 seconds long, but I think it definitely sends the point across--very clearly. Enjoy.

Deep Thoughts

I think this is a rather appropriate title for this post because most of what I'm about to say is rather idiotic.

Firstly, I'm getting frustrated with the difference between lead and lead. I mean it's very clear when its spoken because lead is pronounced dissimilarly from lead, but it's very difficult to understand when typed. Because lets face it, lead means one thing while lead means something entirely different. It is crucial to differentiate.

For example, one of the many people on my buddy list whose away messages i compulsively check but haven't talked to in months (oh, did we as a society move past that) had the following away message the other night (or something similar): "lead is on hillary". Now how am I supposed to interpret that. Are you a Clinton fan with poor grammatical ability, and want to let me know that Hillary is leading in the delegate count? Or perhaps you are alerting me to the fact Mrs. Clinton was involved in a tragic factory accident and is now buried underneath several tons of plumbum (Latin for lead, stay with me here).

This is just one of may questions we may never have the answers to.

Secondly, some good news. While trawling for some classical music to listen to (I love classical, but I don't know the name of anything or who composed it) I found this radio station I used to listen to all the time when I was just a wee lad. Not only did I find it, but it's one of the basic ones on iTunes. It's called WQXR, and it's broadcast on 96.3 FM in New York. I remember listening to June LaBelle going to bed, and getting really confused when I learned about Patti. Anyway, the late night personality is different, but the music's just as good.

For some reason this odd comedy album that I found a couple of years ago rooting around my parents' old shit popped in my head. Its called, "Don't Smoke Dope, Fry Your Hair", and it's by Franklyn Ajaye. Goodnight!

Truth in Engineering

Quite possibly my favorite commercial from the Superbowl, this Audi R8 commercial puts together two of my favorite elements: classic bad ass movies and new bad ass cars.

Anyway, it happens to be 2:47 in the am and I need to go to bed. Until next time.

UPDATE: The actor in the ad is none other than Alex Rocco, the original cast member from The Godfather who woke up in bed with the head of his beloved horse. Bad ass.