A Clean, Well Lighted Place: 25 Things I Hate About You

Have you seen those "25 Facts You Didn't Know About Me" (or similar) posts on Facebook? Perhaps you've been tagged in one (or two). Perhaps you've even written one yourself. Well here's the point, and I'm trying to be as polite as possible here. Shut the fuck up. You're clogging my Feed with the same thing over and over again:

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.) If you don't click publish, you lose it all :(

On a side note, remember how the news feed on Facebook was going to be its downfall? Wow, that changed fast. Alas, I digress.

OK, OK, I'll level with you. You can continue doing these little "25 things" things, but only under the following conditions:

You may not reference where you went abroad - everyone who should have know that already does.
You may not state how quirky you are - because you aren't
"I hate XXXXX for making me do this" - You clearly don't because you're doing it. Nobody cares, so this is also banned
You may not discuss how much you love your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ambiguously gendered partner/et al. - because a. nobody cares and b. everyone who should have known that already does.

Please note: this is nowhere near a complete list.

Anyway, the point is that these things feel a little "chain email" for me. Remember doing that n 7th grade? Remember how fast it got old? Let's not try and go through that again.

When I started writing this, I thought I was going to have a really clear-cut, convincing argument. As it turns out the best I can do is Peter Griffin saying "Come on"