Bullshit Economic Indicators

Economics is a constantly adapting and field of study, which is one of the reasons it remains consistently relevant.  After reading half a Freakonomics article and carrying around a copy of today's Financial Times for most of the day, I've declared myself capable of creating new and exciting bullshit economic indicators.  Before we go on, in the interest of disclosure, I feel compelled to point out that these indicators do have an overwhelmingly shallow, heterosexual bias.

Cost of Good Sex (COGS)
Generally considered a lagging indicator, COGS is designed to accurately predict the amount of capital investment required for a given level of sex with a girl of varying hotness.  The blue line clearly indicates a male skew.

The main takeaway here is this: Girl Hotness is dependent on dollars spent.  The more dollars spent the hotter girl you will be able to take home.  And research clearly shows that girl hotness is perfectly aligned with quality of sex.

The curve does flatten out (similar to the PPC below) based on the diminishing return of increased investment. 

There are externalities that could push the COGS curve downward such as male unattractiveness and overall douschiness which would decrease the upper limit of girl hotness.  Overwhelming male hotness or other positive externalities could push the curve to the up, decreasing COGS overall.  Please note: this model becomes wildly unstable in cases of intoxication.

Penis Possibilities Curve (PPC)

For women.  This leading indicator accurately predicts the minimum hotness threshold of a for a girl to go home with him based on her independent desire to have sex.

The lower the organic desire to have sex, the higher a man has to be to overcome the sex threshold.  For example with a low innate desire to have sex, one would have to be a Ryan Reynolds type to overcome the threshold.

As intrinsic desire increases, the minimum male hotness threshold decreases, allowing for a broader (and generally more unfortunate) range of possibilities.  The curve does straighten out at the end because let's be honest, we all have our minimum standards of acceptability.  It's interesting to note that this model does survive the alcohol test, though more research is required to see if intoxication simply causes a move down the curve or makes the entire curve shift downwards.

(All infographics courtest of MS Paint.  Concepts and data adapted from "Fundamental Methods of Mathematical Economics", Wainwright and Chiang, 2004.)