Lets start from the beginning. I walk from Grand Central1 to Herald Square2 every morning at around 8:30am. The path that I take allows me to steer clear of the onslaught of people from Penn Station, however I do walk right past the visitor's entrance to the Empire State Building.
On the entire block in front of the Empire State, there are groups of people offering discounted tickets on bundled bus tours and trips to the top. I don't know who's who, but we've got the Red Jackets, the Yellow Jackets, and the Blue Jackets. They're legit, mainly because they don't hustle me.
What I question though, is their need to be there. The thing is, these guys are busy as shit when I walk past them. They're pitching, signing people up, and just doing their thing. And I get that part, it's supply and demand. There is a healthy supply of tourists who need to do touristy things, so there are going to be several company reps trying to solicit them.
But why the hell do the tourists need to be there in the first place, at 8:30am?! Yes, there's a lot to do in the Big Apple, and you really want to take it all in, especially when you're from Gas, Kansas (pop 554)3, but there is still no reason why you can't get going after 10:00. I just don't understand how there could be so many people willingly awake at that hour during their vacation.
For one, tourists walk wrong. If you want to be out and about during rush hour, please follow these commonsense maxims:
- Rule Number 1: If there are no cars coming, do not wait for the light to change. Just fucking walk!
- Rule Number 2: When it's flashing "Don't Walk", what the sign is really telling you is hurry the fuck up! As long as that shit is blinking, you better keep moving.
- Rule Number 3: Do not stand at a busy street corner and try and figure out where you are. Please do that from the safety of standing out of the main flow of pedestrian traffic.
For two, nobody's happy at 8:30. And its because it's too fucking early. And because you can't afford to stay in midtown, you had to wake up at like 7:00 to get the kids up, shower, get to breakfast, take a cab (because you were told the subway is dangerous), and eat breakfast--all before you had the privilege to get swindled by Mr. Yellow Jacket.
At this rate, by the time you see the Lion King, you're already exhausted, and then you miss out on that fantastic dinner at Applebee's in Times Square because you're too tired. Start later! New York is much cooler at 8:00pm than 8:00am. Sleep in, go out late, make bad decisions. You'll come back having had a much better time than you would plowing into me because you're not following the aforementioned rules of walking on the fucking street.
In conclusion, let those poor guys in the multicolored coats sleep in for a little while. You'll make everyone much more happy.
1 Grand Central
2 Herald Square
3 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas,_Kansas
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